...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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