Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
