it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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