Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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