Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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