My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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