Jerry, you need to find god
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
