Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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