i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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