I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
