No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
