Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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