Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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