i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
