East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Randomize
