Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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