i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
