I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
