What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
