Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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