Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
