community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
