other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I lost the right to judge tonight
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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