It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
