I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize