that's an acceptable place to lick
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Everclear isn't food dammit
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
