Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
