It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
