Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
