I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
