Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
