I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
