you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
