he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
me + whiskey = a bad person
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
