I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
