This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
