SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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