and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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