I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
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