I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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