Do you still have your period?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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