She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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