I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
