i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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