I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Just puked most of my soul out..
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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