Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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