i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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