she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Screwed.edu
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Randomize
