69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Randomize
