Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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