My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
COCAINE IS GR8
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
