hotel room ftw
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
