He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
