Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
