the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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