So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
