I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Need sex. Gaining weight.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
