I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
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