Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
When are your genitals available?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
he high fived his dick after we had sex
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize