another moral hangover. fuck.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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