i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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