There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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