Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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